Goodbye.
{ He didn’t know what to tell her. What could he say? He stared uselessly at the wound on his arm, ripped wide open and gushing with blood, he was bitten. Already he felt the effect on him, his heart pounding in his ears, dizziness setting in, the room fuzzing around the edges of his vision. He held a pen in one hand, grasping so tight he was afraid it would break. How can he tell his daughter, that even though they just found each other, he had to leave…
He couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to her.
Joel began packing, better to leave before she finds out than to see her watch her father waste away. And her having to kill him when he does… He couldn’t do that to her.
But he was too late. She was standing in the door way, a confused expression on her face. “What are you doing?”
“Leaving.” He said. Short, bitter. He needed to break off before she saw. He pulled his sleeve down while his back was to her and continued packing.
”Why, you just got here!” She took the pack from his hands, it taking all her strength to stop him from moving. “Look… I know… I didn’t want you here in the beginning but… We need you, you work good, you know how to survive, you take care of us in combat…”
Joel’s throat was beginning to close up, and he reached forward, pulling her head towards him gently. He kissed her forehead and lingered. He’d miss her. He didn’t want to go… But he had to. He wanted to spend his last moments seeing her… But he couldn’t. Oh god, what would he tell Ellie… “I’m sorry.”
Catching her eye, she grabbed his arm. “What— What the hell is this?!”
Joel let out a sigh, removing his arm from her possession. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”
”Bullshit I won’t worry! The fuck, were you— Oh god—,” Her breathing quickened. Joel pulled her in for a tight hug, dropping the pack to the ground. “Pa I– Dad…”
“Ssshhh…” He ran a hand down the back of her head, calming her, soothing her. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”
“But you can’t–” Joel pulled away to look at her, his eyes saddened by the decision he had to make.
“Take good care a’ Ellie for me.”
Her lips parted but no words came out. Silence passed between them and Joel turned to leave. He left this things there with her, they’d need it more than him. All he had with him was a pistol with a single bullet.
“Dad please, don’t go!” She finally cried, her feet carrying her forward. But he was already gone. He ran so she wouldn’t be able to follow, her desperate cries trailing behind him. “Dad!”
I’m so sorry baby girl… But I’m proud o’ you. I love you.
– Joel
That was all he had managed to write on the paper he left behind. When he was deep enough in the woods he stopped and leaned against a tree, thoughts overflowing his mind. Could he really do this?
But he was already bringing the gun to his head. He sat down on the cold dirt and closed his eyes. Good bye, baby girls… I love you both.
Click.
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