Eyes Closed; Let it Go || Drabble
AU Where Ellie dies instead of David. Music : ( x ) ( x )Had he been there moments earlier, he would’ve been able to save her. Had he been quicker, had he been healed… Had he paid attention to what he was doing, he wouldn’t have to see what his eyes were trying to feed him, lies that he choked on with the smoke curling in the air around him.
The figure stood from its place, a menacing smile on that face of his, his shoulders not as broad, not as strong, but still… Twisted and disgusting.
The mess of blood and clothing in front of him almost made Joel sick, his heart unable to beat.
No… No, no, no…
The figure was moving forward towards him now, the blade glimmering in his hand. His teeth flashed in a grin, making Joel’s stomach churn.
“ This could’ve turned out better, ” The dark voice whispered above the raging flames, the crackling of the wood. “ Had she been a good girl, she would’ve been safe… ”
Joel couldn’t stop glaring into those eyes, hoping his thoughts turned to daggers against the man, hoping that the girl next to his feet would rise once more in her usual glory, sinking her switchblade into his neck. But she didn’t rise, she didn’t move… She didn’t breath.
As the figure came closer, Joel raised his gun, his nose scrunching with his ragged breath. His hands weren’t shaking. No, they held perfectly still, his body keeping a calm stance.
After all, he was a killer, a survivor in this world… He’d gone through loss before, worse than this, lost his world many times… But this time, he had no one to turn back to.
With the lifeless girl next to the stranger, he knew that this was the end of the road for him. There was no turning back.
“ If ye come quietly… I promise it’ll be quick… ” That voice, that fucking voice, he hated it. It was calm, as if he hadn’t just killed the one thing that mattered to Joel. “ You don’t have to suffer like she did. ”
His eyes flashed to the man’s hand, a smile suddenly breaking across the dry, cracked lips of the younger man. “ She got you good. ” There was a chuckle, so dark it surprised even himself. The clear bite shone against his skin in the light, Ellie always being a fighter she used what weapons she could… Even if it was her own body. “ Tell me… How’re ya feelin’? Bet ye ain’t feelin’ too good right about now– ”
“ Shut up! ” The man stomped forward, like a child throwing a tantrum. He was refusing to believe that he was infected, but the clear signs… His reddened eyes… His yellow skin… The sheen of sweat that came with the fever… She did what she intended.
“ She was immune, you know… ” Joel chuckled again, his gun still aimed at the man. “ She was immune, she couldn’t ever get infected… But you… Oh, man, what happens if I back down? They kill me and then what? ”
“ That is none of your god damned business. ” The blade was pointed to Joel, but he still had the upper hand of a firearm.
“ This town… You’d turn and then everyone would surely die after you… Women… Children… Everyone. ”
“ Yes, that little girl gave us some trouble… More than I thought she would… ” He stepped forward once more, gesturing toward the lump on the ground. “ But I took care of it… I’m gonna take care of it all… ”
It. He didn’t even call her by her name, if he knew it, but Ellie was so god damned proud surely she’d have made him curse it more than once. Rage flared through Joel, his grip around the trigger tightening.
“ You and I… We’ve got nothing left to lose… Only the satisfaction of killing each other… ” His voice was manipulative but Joel was smart. He could see through it immediately. “ So let me do the honors of getting my revenge… Then we’ll both burn here… No one else has to get hurt. ”
Oh but they did. Everyone was going to feel his wrath.
“ Ellie got hurt. ” A click of the trigger and through the stomach the bullet was sent, doubling over the man. He collapsed onto the floor, clutching his abdomen, red gushing onto the ground of the restaurant. Joel moved forward, aiming his gun once more. “ She didn’t have to… But she did. ”
“ You know… ” The man breathed out. “ I knew she was special… But not just how special… She was… Loyal… Guess she thought you a better fuck than me. ”
Joel’s nostrils flared, not hesitating to bring the gun to the man’s head, pulling the trigger once more. He spread out to the ground, cold and lifeless… Like the little girl next to him.
“ Its okay… Its me, ” He couldn’t help but speak to her as he shifted her into his arms. “ Its me… Oh baby girl… ”
Rough, cracked lips formed a straight line as their foreheads pressed together. He didn’t feel anything but numb… Cold…
He would bury her away from these freaks… And he’d find his way to Tommy’s.
“ Its okay… Its okay… ”
But it wasn’t. As much as he tried, he couldn’t disconnect himself this time.
Things happen and you move on.
Where was he supposed to go from here?
Even as she lay under the cold, wet ground, he wondered… Would she come back, smiling… Saying ‘I was just fuckin’ with you Joel!’ would she be sitting there, reading her comics back at Tommy’s waiting for him? Would he see her face again?
No… No, he should think not…
She wasn’t coming back this time. And for once… Realizing it… It hurt like hell.
He was alone again, on the road by himself… But he just wasn’t sure he’d make it home. Things often happened on journeys, he could get lost… He could stray, river currents are strong in weather like this…
No– he shook his head. He would survive. Ellie would want that much of him…
“ Good night, baby girls… ” He muttered to himself, the sun setting in the vast grey emptiness.
He wasn’t meant to be a father… He failed them both. He wasn’t meant to look after and take care of others… He was meant to be alone.